


Flirting, Paper Dolls and Goalie Thirsting Hours

by tillyenna



Series: 15-16 Draft GC [15]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Chat Logs, M/M, No Fourth Wall, chat fic, even straight men lust after braden holtby, real world events referenced
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:08:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26256172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tillyenna/pseuds/tillyenna
Summary: Real world events referenced in this oneFreddie trade rumoursCarter hart charming his way out of a penaltyAnd then only getting one question post game, which was about charming his way out of said penalty
Relationships: Alex DeBrincat/Dylan Strome, Carter Hart/Cale Makar, Frederik Andersen/Auston Matthews, Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid, Travis Konecny/Nolan Patrick
Series: 15-16 Draft GC [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1776370
Comments: 81
Kudos: 127





	1. The Group Chat

Josty:

| 

So, I hadn’t seen Cale in a while, and I thought I’d go check up on him to see if he was still sad even though we won yesterday  
  
---|---  
  
Hartsy:

| 

????  
  
Josty:

| 

He was not still sad  
  
Josty:

| 

He was holed up in his room  
  
Josty:

| 

Watching your postgame interview on repeat  
  
Hartsy:

| 

What?  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I answered like ONE question, they were ALL questions for G  
  
Josty:

| 

Aha, but you also touched your hair…  
  
Josty:

| 

And smiled  
  
Josty:

| 

And ZOMG… licked your actual lips  
  
Josty:

| 

🤦‍♂️  
  
Teeks:

| 

You mean watching the postgame interview for Carter “Please Mr Ref I didn’t even notice” Hart  
  
Patty:

| 

How the fuck did u get away with that?  
  
Teeks:

| 

IT’S HIS INNOCENT LIL FACE PATSO  
  
Teeks:

| 

He just batted his eyelashes at the ref  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Honestly… it was just an accident…  
  
Hartsy:

| 

😇  
  
Chucky:

| 

You forget we all know you well enough…  
  
Chucky:

| 

You’re a fucking lucky little shit is what you are  
  
Chucky:

| 

Also, @Mitch, is Freddie really getting traded?  
  
Matts:

| 

NOPE  
  
Matts:

| 

NOT HAPPENING  
  
Matts:

| 

FRED IS STAYING IN TORONTO  
  
Chucky:

| 

Understood?  
  
Marns:

| 

We are very much in the “denial” stage of the trade process right now  
  
Brinks:

| 

FORGET THAT  
  
Brinks:

| 

I WANT TO KNOW IF DAVO IS STILL ALIVE  
  
Brinks:

| 

AND IF SO HOW?  
  
Davo:

| 

I am  
  
Davo:

| 

Mostly because Dylan hid me from Matty…  
  
Stromer:

| 

Mostly because Matty has a new boyfriend  
  
Matts:

| 

Do I?  
  
Chucky:

| 

I definitely don’t.  
  
Stromer:

| 

Ugh. MY MATTY. STROME MATTY  
  
Stromer:

| 

Who is probably going to kill Ryan at the earliest opportunity  
  
Davo:

| 

IN MY DEFENSE  
  
Davo:

| 

I didn’t know Matty had a crush on me….  
  
Stromer:

| 

HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW?  
  
McLeod:

| 

HE LITERALLY USED TO BLUSH EVERY TIME YOU SPOKE TO HIM  
  
McLeod:

| 

Also how does Matty have a new boyf?  
  
McLeod:

| 

He’s spending all his time with lil Ry  
  
Patty:

| 

Is ne1 else really confused write now?  
  
Teeks:

| 

I’m with you babes. Hella confused.  
  
Brinks:

| 

The strome-mcleod clan double up a lot of their names  
  
McLeod:

| 

Remember when we decided that WE should have the same name?  
  
Stromer:

| 

LMAO YES and we could’t decide to be Dylan or Mikey, so we decided to be DYKEY  
  
McLeod:

| 

😂😂😂😂😂  
  
McLeod:

| 

WE LITERALLY HAD NO CLUE WHY THE ADULTS THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY  
  
Brinks:

| 

🤦‍♂️  
  
Stromer:

| 

This was when we were like, seven.  
  
Stromer:

| 

And honestly, I think it’s still a better choice than Milan…  
  
Josty:

| 

HE’S STILL WATCHING IT…….  
  
Hartsy:

| 

<3 it’s kind of cute  
  
Josty:

| 

Except he doesn’t know that he’s watching his boyfriend.  
  
Josty:

| 

He’s just watching some guy he met once  
  
Josty:

| 

So its stalking…  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Stop being mean to him!  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Poor lil cale  
  
Howdy:

| 

I saw your media brought back the Cale/Kale thing  
  
Josty:

| 

AH HA HA he is SO PISSED ABOUT THAT  
  
Patty:

| 

Its fine tho because hartsy is a veggie  
  
Patty:

| 

So hes allowed to eat kale 😉  
  
Josty:

| 

😂😂😂😂😂  
  
Teeks:

| 

HOW HAVE WE NOT NOTICED THIS BEFORE????  
  
Patty:

| 

😎  
  
Chucky:

| 

Did you know on tumblr there’s a paper doll of you @patty  
  
Teeks:

| 

WHAT????  
  
Chucky:

| 

You can print out a lil paper doll of Patso and his summer lesbian clothes  
  
Davo:

| 

His what now?  
  
Chucky:

| 

The entire internet refers to the clothes Patso wears over the summer as “summer lesbian Patty”  
  
Patty:

| 

I don’t really have a problem with that tho  
  
Patty:

| 

My clothes Are amazing  
  
Teeks:

| 

LINK ME TINY PATTY DOLL  
  
Teeks:

| 

I know the office staff have a printer  
  
Teeks:

| 

I’m gonna print one for everyone on our team  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Pass thanks  
  
Teeks:

| 

DO YOU NOT WANT A TINY NOLAN CHEERING YOU ON????  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Ehhh…..  
  
Patty:

| 

☹  
  
Teeks:

| 

YOU MADE HIM SAD  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I’m immune to Patty’s death glares now  
  
Patty:

| 

☹ ☹  
  
Chucky:

| 

<https://twitter.com/slowestdive/status/1272657534978011138>  
  
Teeks:

| 

DUDE THAT REALLY LOOKS LIKE YOU  
  
Patty:

| 

I mean….  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Ok. That is pretty cute  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I like his lil gritty jumper  
  
Teeks:

| 

HE HAS GRITTY SLIPPERS  
  
Teeks:

| 

AND STANDARD PATTY SLUT SHORTS  
  
Patty:

| 

Heyyyyyy  
  
Teeks:

| 

Babes, if you’re going to wear shorts with like your entire ass cheek hanging out I’m gonna call it like I can see it  
  
Matts:

| 

I used to dress slutty… ☹  
  
Matts:

| 

Now Fred is all “I don’t wanna have to fight other men off you.”  
  
Teeks:

| 

Eh. @Patty. Dress slutty… I can fight 😉  
  
Patty:

| 

You want to stop objectifying me?  
  
Teeks:

| 

Only when you stop enjoying it 😉  
  
Hartsy:

| 

NO FLIRTING ON THE GROUP CHAT  
  
Brinks:

| 

You notice how the only people who ever say that  
  
Brinks:

| 

Are the ones who’s boyfs aren’t on the GC  
  
Stromer:

| 

I for one encourage flirting on the group chat  
  
Chucky:

| 

REALLY?  
  
Chucky:

| 

Because I CAN BRING MY A-GAME 😉  
  
Stromer:

| 

I take it back.  
  
Stromer:

| 

I encourage kit flirting on the group chat…  
  
Chucky:

| 

You can flirt with me brinks 😉  
  
Brinks:

| 

…  
  
Brinks:

| 

Thanks  
  
Chucky:

| 

😉  
  
Howdy:

| 

Ugh. People on twitter are still fucking giving rask a hard time  
  
Chucky:

| 

WTAF  
  
Chucky:

| 

HIS KID WAS SICK  
  
Stromer:

| 

Like, if Wrigley was sick, I’d hella have left the bubble  
  
Brinks:

| 

Don’t even. If one of my babies got sick, I too would leave the bubble.  
  
Chucky:

| 

…. And that is entirely comparable to someone’s ACTUAL HUMAN CHILD being hospitalized  
  
Howdy:

| 

I don’t understand how people can be such fucking assholes  
  
McLeod:

| 

That and the VGK retracting their black lives matter statement ffs  
  
Howdy:

| 

I heard that was cause the police union threatened them though  
  
Brinks:

| 

On behalf of all the americans in the chat  
  
Brinks:

| 

Can I just say how sorry we are at how fucked up our country is  
  
Chucky:

| 

Mood  
  
Chucky:

| 

Like, I’m the most American ever to American  
  
Chucky:

| 

And even I’m contemplating the fact I can technically define myself as half Canadian…  
  
Chucky:

| 

😂😂😂  
  
Stromer:

| 

WAIT you mean we could have had you on team Canada all along????  
  
Chucky:

| 

Eh. I don’t have dual citizenship  
  
Chucky:

| 

But momma chuck is Canadian  
  
Howdy:

| 

Please tell me you refer to her as “momma chuck” IRL  
  
Chucky:

| 

My actual living breathing father encourages his three children not to call him “Pops” or “Dad” but “Big Walt” so wtf do YOU think  
  
Marns:

| 

😂 DOES HE REALLY??  
  
Marns:

| 

I’m just picturing like a 40 year old brinksy forcing his kids to call him “The Cat”  
  
Stromer:

| 

Connor and Leon have babies and they are Papa and McJesus  
  
Stromer:

| 

😂😂😂😂  
  
Brinks:

| 

NAAAA they’d be Drat and CSP  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I read a fic the other day where the writer referred to BRADY as “chucky” and it was HELLA confusing  
  
Chucky:

| 

Eh. We’re all chucky. Like, T is Chucky to HER hockey team as well 😂  
  
Chucky:

| 

But I’m like the OG chucky  
  
Stromer:

| 

We’re all stromers as well  
  
Patty:

| 

btf we’re all pattys  
  
Chucky:

| 

Btf???  
  
Patty:

| 

To. Be. Fair.  
  
Chucky:

| 

Um… sure.  
  
Stromer:

| 

EH, I think it’s like a hockey family curse. Like… hockey players aren’t the most imaginative with nicknames  
  
Brinks:

| 

Except on the hawks  
  
Brinks:

| 

Where Pat sharp will give you THE MOST RANDOM NICKNAME ON THE PLANET  
  
Josty:

| 

JESUS HIS CHEEKBONES THOUGH  
  
Josty:

| 

Like…. FUCK. HOW DOES A GUY THAT OLD LOOK THAT GOOD?  
  
Brinks:

| 

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂  
  
Stromer:

| 

From the chirps? A LOT OF HAIR DYE  
  
Howdy:

| 

Who’s playing tonight btw?  
  
Josty:

| 

Just us  
  
Hartsy:

| 

The Avs  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Oops, sorry.  
  
Teeks:

| 

Cue Hartsy glued to his screen  
  
Teeks:

| 

Trying to pass it of as video review in case either of you guys make the final  
  
Teeks:

| 

But the only reviewing he’s doing is of Makar’s ass  
  
Hartsy:

| 

Fuck you teeks.  
  
Brinks:

| 

I mean, in Harsty’s defense  
  
Brinks:

| 

I would watch Dyl playing atm if I could  
  
McLeod:

| 

Want me to live stream road hockey for you  
  
McLeod:

| 

😂😂😂  
  
Brinks:

| 

Only when he’s in goal  
  
Brinks:

| 

I LIVE FOR THAT DISASTER  
  
Davo:

| 

Tbf, we’re all shit in goal  
  
Marns:

| 

But Dylan is THE MOST SHIT out of all of us  
  
Stromer:

| 

Go on. AGREE WITH HIM DAVO  
  
Davo:

| 

UGH.  
  
Davo:

| 

I have to be nice to Stromer until the start of the new season apparently  
  
Davo:

| 

As “apology” for fucking his brother.  
  
Teeks:

| 

Does LEON know?  
  
Davo:

| 

YES! Like, Leon knows everyone I’ve ever slept with.  
  
Chucky:

| 

Everyone?  
  
Davo:

| 

-.- everyone.  
  
Davo:

| 

No exceptions  
  
Chucky:

| 

😂😂😂  
  
Stromer:

| 

Why is that funny?  
  
Chucky:

| 

Their twee relationship makes me laugh.  
  
Chucky:

| 

SO TWEE  
  
Davo:

| 

Just because you have a different hook-up on every team.  
  
Marns:

| 

DON’T SLUTSHAME CHUCKY  
  
Marns:

| 

HE’S OUR SLUT  
  
Marns:

| 

AND WE LOVE HIM FOR IT  
  
Chucky:

| 

😎  
  
Chucky:

| 

It’s fine mitchy. Davo just wishes he had game like I do 😉  
  
Stromer:

| 

Hey chucky… who’s better in bed, Mitch or Matts?  
  
Chucky:

| 

😂😂😂  
  
Chucky:

| 

Not really comparable experiences. Sorry :P  
  
Stromer:

| 

Whaaaaaaaat  
  
Stromer:

| 

But if you HAD to pick one for a repeat  
  
Chucky:

| 

Obviously mitch  
  
Chucky:

| 

Because I don’t think I could take Fred in a fight 😂  
  
Matts:

| 

Tbf, I don’t think ANY of us could take Fred if he really wanted to fight  
  
Mitch:

| 

He’s a gentle giant, you’d be ok…  
  
Matts:

| 

Eh… I wouldn’t go that far 😉  
  
Mitch:

| 

TMI MATTHEWS  
  
Chucky:

| 

NOT TMI  
  
Chucky:

| 

I’M BORED  
  
Chucky:

| 

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR SEX WITH YOUR GIANT GINGER DANE  
  
Chucky:

| 

Can I just say Matts, you are definitely punching up there  
  
Matts:

| 

I’m well aware 😉  
  
Chucky:

| 

Like, what does HE even get out of it? :P  
  
Chucky:

| 

I’m kidding bro 😉  
  
Chucky:

| 

HOLY SHIT.  
  
Chucky:

| 

Allen’s gone to the habs!!!!  
  
Hartsy:

| 

JEALOUS  
  
Teeks:

| 

Why do you want to go to the habs?  
  
Hartsy:

| 

HE’S GETTING TO PLAY BACK UP TO PRICE!!!!!!  
  
Teeks:

| 

You’re a starter Hartsy…  
  
Hartsy:

| 

STILL  
  
Hartsy:

| 

CAREY PRICE  
  
Chucky:

| 

It’s a hella step up from playing back up to binnington 😂  
  
Josty:

| 

Hey Hartsy  
  
Josty:

| 

We know you’ve jerked off to videos of Cale  
  
Josty:

| 

But I also suspect you’ve jerked off to thoughts of Carey Price…. Correct?  
  
Howdy:

| 

I mean…  
  
Stromer:

| 

Has anyone…  
  
Brinks:

| 

NOT?  
  
Hartsy:

| 

CAREY FUCKING PRICE  
  
Howdy:

| 

In the cowboy boots  
  
McLeod:

| 

With the HAT  
  
Marns:

| 

When he’s fucking riding a horse  
  
Josty:

| 

Apparently I missed the memo on thirsting after Carey Price hours  
  
Hartsy:

| 

I mean… if you REALLY want to chirp someone about this  
  
Hartsy:

| 

And this didn’t come from me because he’s too perfect to chirp imho  
  
Hartsy:

| 

But 8 has a goalie fetish  
  
Hartsy:

| 

And like…  
  
Josty:

| 

I LOVE YOU HARTSY  
  
Josty:

| 

è TO THE TEAM CHAT!


	2. The Avs Chat

Josty:

| 

Hey veggie  
  
---|---  
  
Josty:

| 

Settle a bet for me  
  
Josty:

| 

Have you ever jerked off to thoughts of Carey Price  
  
Cale:

| 

ERM WHAT????  
  
EJ:

| 

WOAH NOW  
  
EJ:

| 

IT’S CAREY PRICE  
  
EJ:

| 

WHO HASN’T????  
  
TBeauts:

| 

That’s like asking someone if they’ve ever jerked off thinking about Holtby  
  
Gabe:

| 

You can’t NOT  
  
Gabe:

| 

It’s the law  
  
Nate:

| 

As a swede are you not legally obliged to jerk off to thoughts of Lundqvist?  
  
Gabe:

| 

Obviously.  
  
Sammy:

| 

Holtby and Price are both Canadian  
  
Sammy:

| 

Not sure what options you have EJ  
  
EJ:

| 

Shhhh  
  
EJ:

| 

I can betray my nationality just this once  
  
Josty:

| 

WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK?  
  
Josty:

| 

Is it secretly thirsting after goalie hours for everyone???  
  
Nate:

| 

It’s always thirsting after goalie hours for Cale 😂  
  
Nate:

| 

Stopped watching Hart interviews yet?  
  
Cale:

| 

Fuck you nate :P  
  
EJ:

| 

Hey baby  
  
EJ:

| 

Who’s cuter, Holtby or Price?  
  
Cale:

| 

Holtby  
  
Sammy:

| 

I love the fact he didn’t even stop to think  
  
Sammy:

| 

Straight away. Holtby  
  
Cale:

| 

🤷‍♂️  
  
Cale:

| 

Even straight guys thirst over Holtby.  
  
Comphs:

| 

Like… Can confirm. Man’s a fucking rocket.  
  
Josty:

| 

UGH. I came in here to chirp cale specifically about carey price thirst  
  
Josty:

| 

AND EVEN MY TOKEN STRAIGHT FRIEND IS ABANDONING ME TO GOALIE THIRST HOUR  
  
Cale:

| 

Sucks to be you bud :P  
  
Josty:

| 

I hate you all -.-  
  
**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES. JT is my TOKEN STRAIGHT BOY. Don't hate me mkay? I like a clueless straight boy now and again...

**Author's Note:**

> You may have noticed that the speed at which new episodes are written is directly correlated to the number of comments i get going "AWAWAAWAA I FUCKING LOVE THIS MAKE THEM DO MORE FUNNY SHIT" and "HAVE YOU SEEN THIS STUPID THING, MAKE THEM TALK ABOUT IT"
> 
> SO: If you really hate this series (why are you even here) Don't comment and maybe I'll stop writing ;)


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